The monthly event-You are the show stopper

 

The Monthly Event -

You are the show stopper

Disclaimer: Terms and Conditions Apply. Subject to Change Without Intimation.


When I speak to women — over coffee, at health talks, in my clinic — I notice something that never stops surprising me.

Ask them about the latest fashion trends, they're on it. 

The new salon that just opened, the one with that amazing hair treatment? They have the address, the price, and already have an appointment. 

Footwear sizes, sale dates, which brand just launched what — all of it, downloaded and stored perfectly.

And then I ask one simple question about periods. What's normal, what's not, whether they've heard about any of the newer menstrual products available today.

Suddenly — "I'm not sure." "How would I know?" A little laugh, a little look away.

"And I think to myself — this is a subscription that auto-renewed every single month. No sign up. No welcome email. No user manual. Just — surprise, here you are, deal with it. And yet somehow, the one person it arrives for every month is also the one person who knows the least about it.
She is the show stopper, the main event, the one running the whole production — and nobody gave her the terms and conditions."




So I ask a little more. And that's when the stories come.

She was told, as a young girl, that pain during periods is normal. Bear with it. Every woman goes through it. And so she did . Then someone said it would settle after marriage — and I'll address that particular myth properly another day, there is quite a lot to say there. Then after a baby. Then with age. Then after menopause, finally, it would all be fine.

And somewhere in all that waiting, she stopped reading the fine print altogether.

The heavy flow? I've always been like that, doctor. It's just how I am. She says it so matter-of-factly, as if she filed it away long ago under fixed features, not up for discussion — like her height or her shoe size. The dizziness, the tiredness that doesn't lift even after a full night's sleep — that's just life, isn't it? That's just what being a busy woman feels like.

Her haemoglobin, meanwhile, has its own quiet opinion on the matter.

The irregular bleeding is its own chapter. She notices it. Of course she notices it. But then begins the negotiation with herself — maybe it's the travel. Maybe I ate something. Let me just watch it for a few days. A few days becomes a few weeks. A few weeks becomes — let me just get through this month first.

And underneath all that watching and waiting is something she won't always say out loud but I hear it anyway: what if I go and they actually find something? I can't deal with that right now. I have too much going on.

So the appointment gets postponed. Behind the office project, behind the school admissions, behind the cousin's wedding, behind a holiday she was genuinely looking forward to and quietly cancelled, telling everyone she was just too busy.

Never too busy for anyone else. Only for herself.

Here's the thing about this subscription though — the terms and conditions do change. Every decade, sometimes every year. What was normal at sixteen may not be normal at twenty-eight. What she experiences after a baby is different from before. Cycles shift, flow changes, the body sends new signals at every stage — perimenopause being the most dramatic update of all, arriving sometimes without so much as a notification.

And because nobody ever sat her down and said this is what to expect, this is what to watch for, and this is when to call for help — every change feels like an ambush. Something to panic about, or something to ignore. There is no in-between when you were never given the manual.

Most of what she has been quietly carrying has an answer. A real one. The dizziness, the exhaustion, the heavy flow she has accepted as her identity — these are notifications her body has been sending, patiently, every month, hoping she'll finally open them. And most of them, when they reach a doctor, have manageable, often simple answers.

The women who come in after months of putting it off say the same thing, almost every time: I wish I'd come sooner. I didn't have to worry alone for so long.

You don't have to wait for it to become an emergency. You don't have to earn a doctor's appointment by suffering enough first.



                                            DEFINING THE NORMAL                                                                           

 21-35 DAY CYCLE 

WITH FOW FOR 4-5 DAYS

WITH PAIN NOT AFFECTING DAILY WORK/STUDY 

AND NO CLOTS 

AND NO BLEED IN BETWEEN

This is also not just about what happens inside the clinic. Menstrual hygiene — the products available, the choices she has, the way she disposes of them, the impact on her body and on the environment — all of this is information she deserves to have. Clearly, comfortably, without whispers.

My next post is going to be about the menstrual cup — and if you haven't tried it or aren't sure about it, that one is for you. Because that too is a part of the terms and conditions of this subscription that most women were never told about. And they should be.

For now, on Menstrual Hygiene Day, this is what I want to leave you with:

You know every update happening in the world. You track sales, you remember birthdays, you know your Netflix password and your best friend's coffee order.

Now open the one notification you've been swiping away every month.

Your body sent it. It's been waiting.

I wrote this for every woman where i read between the lines that stops her from knowing herself:

Why the Hush

Why the hush

And all that fuss

Don't you wash your face

And clean it everyday

The womb has its ways

Once a month four days


Why the hush

And all that fuss

Don't you scream when you fall

And soon rise again

The lining is the inner bed

The pain is when its going to shed


Why the hush

And all that fuss

Don't you see the doc 

When you have a running nose

And pain in your throat


Why the hush

And all that fuss

The periods when too much

That extra soak

And the pain that keeps 

You away from school and work


Why the hush

And all that fuss

Just open up and speak 

Dont put it for Another day

Go find out if its not okay

Or just another Period day


Why the hush

And all that fuss

The periods chemistry

Makes you blush

And also gives 

The oxytocin rush


Why the hush

And all that fuss

That’s where you started life

To be a daughter ,a loving child

Sanjivani 

Next in this series: The Menstrual Cup 

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